I don't really want to write this blog, to be honest. I don't want to write it because it means that I only have one week left here. Seven days to take in as much as I can, do everything I want to do before I depart, not knowing if/when I'll return. I love Haiti. I love COTP and their ministry. I love the kids here with all my heart. I love all the people here that I've met and grown close to. I love teaching preschool to my six wonderfully crazy kids. I love that God put me here, not knowing the reason or purpose. I love all the new experiences I've been able to have here. I love hearing angry cows and chickens in the morning and at night from my house. I love our five little kittens. I love the conversations that I've been able to have here. I could go on and on.
However, following the format of my last blog posts, I'll continue and share some highlights from this past week. This week went by SO quickly, but it was a great one!
-I spent Monday and Tuesday with Jenna and Holly at the beach. Staying overnight was such a relaxing and wonderful experience! We spent time reading, snorkeling, wading in the ocean, taking naps in hammocks, and laying out. It was great to get to spend time with two beautiful, Godly women who I've grown especially close to, having great conversations and just being able to relax. We got delicious chocolate ice cream with our dinner, and yummy breakfast, which was definitely a plus :). I came out with hardly any sunburn, which is practically a miracle if you know me at all :p
-I watched a local soccer game between people from COTP and Lagossette, which was really fun to see, and one of the boys I've spent time with homeschooling was able to play, and it was great to see him play out one of his passions.
-I went for my first run in Haiti! Maybe wasn't the best life choice with my ankle, but it didn't really hurt :p It's still sore, but isn't very swollen.
-I babysat one of the international girls for a morning, which was really fun! It was great to get to know her in her home setting and spend time with her besides in preschool.
On the downside, this week we've had more people getting sick :(. Two of the boys that I homeschooled got sick late this week, which was really difficult for the family because they left today for time back in the states. I was sad to not be able to hang out with them more before they left. The Willis family, as I said, left today, which was a tough goodbye, or "see you later." They are such a sweet, caring, generous, selfless, hilarious, Christ-loving family and I've absolutely loved getting to know them and grow close to them. I appreciate them so much for the generosity and their openness to welcoming me here. I look up to them a lot, and know I can call them if I ever need someone to talk to and they'll listen. I grew really close to their kids, and it will be hard not to see them every day. Luckily, I will see them again someday, God willing :). One of the long-term staff members here is also sick, as well as a short term volunteer. Prayers for health are definitely needed and appreciated!
Although I may not know the true purpose or reason for God placing me here in Haiti, I know Haiti has forever changed me and will always have a special place in my heart. I may have become frustrated at times while being here, but I wouldn't trade those experiences for anything. God has given me comfort and peace of mind so much while I've been here; I've never felt more comfortable. While I've been here, I haven't really been worried about what my future will be or what God has planned for me. I know whatever it is, it will grow and stretch me and have a great purpose. It may not be easy, it may not be what I want or think is right, but it will be worth it. It's now just waiting with the peace of mind that God will show me when the time is right. If you would have told me a year ago I was going to Haiti for 7 weeks, I would have laughed at you. Now, I can't even begin to put into words how thankful I am for God's work He's done in my life through this. Sarah laughed at God when He said she was going to have a son even though she thought she was far too old. But God used that experience. God used that experience to teach Sarah faithfulness and to draw near to God at all times. God made the impossible possible. It was on God's timing that Sarah had a son. Hebrews 11:11 tells the story of Sarah's faithfulness as well. I was just like Sarah, I laughed at God for trying to point me towards Haiti. I'm just now beginning to see some of the reasons why, and I can't wait to see what further plans He has for me. God is so good.
Saturday, June 28, 2014
Saturday, June 21, 2014
Week #4&5
Well folks, I'm done with week 5 here in Haiti! I kept pushing back doing the blog last week,so I'll try to talk about both weeks here :p Haiti has definitely been winning my heart over lately. I am feeling so comfortable here and love it; it feels pretty much natural, which is crazy!! It's definitely beginning to get into the summer heat, which is not so exciting, but, all part of the adventure! As I've passed my halfway point, I'm beginning to get sad that I will have to leave this place. Seven weeks seemed like such a long time arriving here, but it now doesn't seem like enough! It's gone by so fast, and keeps going by faster, and I just want it to slow down the next couple weeks!
Some highs from the past two weeks:
-I definitely feel that there's been a turnaround in preschool! The kids are used to having me in the classroom. There have been less behavior problems overall and the kids are great! We've done some fun activities that went even better than I planned and I am really enjoying it!
-ELLA HAD KITTENS!! :) :) This was definitely a top highlight! Jenna and I even guessed when she was going to have them. Five wonderful kittens, who now have their eyes open! We probably watch them for at least 45 minutes every day. :)
-Jenna and I went stargazing on the roof and talked about life. I love stargazing! We even saw the brightest shooting star I've ever seen, and it had such a long tail. It's definitely been a blessing to have such an awesome person to live with, and we can definitely be real with each other.
-I watched Despicable Me with the Grace House. It was so fun to see the Haitian kids' reactions to the show and watching them dance and giggle!
-We got a new admit, an adorable 22 month old girl. I'm excited to see her get more comfortable with everyone here and her smile!
-We all watched the USA vs Ghana World Cup game together, and it was fun to see everyone cheering for the same team! The volunteers also has peanut butter filled pretzels, which were amazing :)
-Jenna had a friend from the community come over, and it was fun to listen to her talk to Jenna in creole and pick up on phrases (occasionally joining in), as well as talking in English. It was cool to learn from her a little more about the culture. She had never seen a redhead before and we showed her one, but she said she didn't like it :p She also said that she doesn't like super blonde hair, but she liked mine haha. We were able to look at things on Pinterest and have small girl talk :) We also talked about dating a bit, and I learned that different families have different rules as to when you start dating. For example, in her family you don't start dating until you're 18.
-We made a delicious dinner dish of quinoa, veggies, almonds, and craisens. It was SO good! Jenna's not only letting me stay with her, but I also get cooking lessons! ;)
-The normal preschool teacher here, Tori, returned and it's been fun getting to know her!
-I went to the Citadel! Oh my goodness, it was beautiful. If you don't know what it is, look it up, seriously. It's the largest fortress in the Western Hemisphere that the leader in 1820, Henry Christophe, built when Haiti gained independence from the French, just in case they tried to fight back. We rode horses up the mountain, which was really cool, and I had never ridden a horse before.
-We've celebrated four birthdays in the past two weeks for the kids, which is so fun to see their happiness and excitement, and watching them eat the cake :)
-After about a week and a half of our showers and sinks not working, they were all fixed and we can shower again in our own house!! :)
-We played ultimate frisbee with a volunteer group.
-I was able to skype my family a couple times, which has been great! I'm so thankful for the ability to see my family.
-A volunteer group threw the adults a pizza party, which was delicious! Some of us played dutch blitz afterwards, and Kirk and I kicked butt second round! :)
-Jenna and I had a mini getaway yesterday and laid on the hammocks at the beach for an hour, which was SO relaxing after a busy week!!
-We had ice cream yesterday! I had a corn flavored ice cream bar, which was actually really yummy! It tastes like the corn based cereals.
On the down side, I did have my first decent injury. :/ While playing ultimate frisbee on Wednesday, I ran into a hole and sprained my ankle. The first couple days it was pretty swollen and painful, but it's going down now! I was able to have my first crutches experience, and we have a child's size boot here that I've been using to get around in :p I appreciate everyone's prayers for a quick recovery! I really am not a fan of having the attention on me because I was the lucky one to find the hole, but everyone here has been so caring and helpful! It's uncomfortable for me, but I've gotten a taste of what it feels like to be served through this experience, rather than being the one serving.
The past couple weeks I've really been thinking about what I do when I go home. Do I share stories with everyone I see? Do I stop spending my money on the unnecessary things in life? Do I start sending money to the wonderful organization here that has special place in my heart? Do I start planning my next trip back? I know someone can't give me the answer, but I wish someone could :p. All I know is I'm not ready to leave. This place is a home to me, and these people have become very important to me. I love seeing these kids light up when they see you with arms wide open, hearing their giggles, hearing them say your name with excitement, and watching them grow and heal.
I think coming into this trip, I thought this would be a way for me to learn how to trust God completely, because I had to. I didn't know anyone, know the language, know the culture, know what I was going to do, and was completely out of my comfort level. However, sometimes I feel like I'm still trying to hold into that small piece that I control, even here. Learning how to give your whole life to Christ isn't easy. Thinking about what God has next for me in His plan is something I definitely have been praying about consistently and trusting He will show me what He wants next. Does He want me to come back here? Does He want me in an inner city setting? Does He want me to do something more missional and community based? I don't know, but what I do know is I can trust God has a plan far greater than anything I can try to create.
God is so present and so active here. I see it in the people here. They are some of the most selfless people I've met. They care so much about the children and people here, being involved in the community, building the community up. And have fun with it. They have true joy while working here, even over the smallest things. I look up to a lot of the long term staff that's here. I see God in the joy of the children, the nannies, the children on the streets waving as you drive by, and the beauty of Haiti itself. This place is pretty great :)
Prayer requests I have:
-Quick healing for my sprained ankle.
-Safety of the volunteers traveling back home today and coming here.
-Easing my heart and mind due to the fact that I have two weeks left. I am very sad to leave and wish I could stay longer.
-Good health for the volunteers and long-term staff.
-Those here caught in the voodoo religion would find Christ and turn away from their old ways.
-We would be able to find a nurse that would be willing to stay for a couple weeks here.
-Safety and comfort for the Haitians here that do not have enough food for their families or a place to call home.
Some highs from the past two weeks:
-I definitely feel that there's been a turnaround in preschool! The kids are used to having me in the classroom. There have been less behavior problems overall and the kids are great! We've done some fun activities that went even better than I planned and I am really enjoying it!
-ELLA HAD KITTENS!! :) :) This was definitely a top highlight! Jenna and I even guessed when she was going to have them. Five wonderful kittens, who now have their eyes open! We probably watch them for at least 45 minutes every day. :)
-Jenna and I went stargazing on the roof and talked about life. I love stargazing! We even saw the brightest shooting star I've ever seen, and it had such a long tail. It's definitely been a blessing to have such an awesome person to live with, and we can definitely be real with each other.
-I watched Despicable Me with the Grace House. It was so fun to see the Haitian kids' reactions to the show and watching them dance and giggle!
-We got a new admit, an adorable 22 month old girl. I'm excited to see her get more comfortable with everyone here and her smile!
-We all watched the USA vs Ghana World Cup game together, and it was fun to see everyone cheering for the same team! The volunteers also has peanut butter filled pretzels, which were amazing :)
-Jenna had a friend from the community come over, and it was fun to listen to her talk to Jenna in creole and pick up on phrases (occasionally joining in), as well as talking in English. It was cool to learn from her a little more about the culture. She had never seen a redhead before and we showed her one, but she said she didn't like it :p She also said that she doesn't like super blonde hair, but she liked mine haha. We were able to look at things on Pinterest and have small girl talk :) We also talked about dating a bit, and I learned that different families have different rules as to when you start dating. For example, in her family you don't start dating until you're 18.
-We made a delicious dinner dish of quinoa, veggies, almonds, and craisens. It was SO good! Jenna's not only letting me stay with her, but I also get cooking lessons! ;)
-The normal preschool teacher here, Tori, returned and it's been fun getting to know her!
-I went to the Citadel! Oh my goodness, it was beautiful. If you don't know what it is, look it up, seriously. It's the largest fortress in the Western Hemisphere that the leader in 1820, Henry Christophe, built when Haiti gained independence from the French, just in case they tried to fight back. We rode horses up the mountain, which was really cool, and I had never ridden a horse before.
-We've celebrated four birthdays in the past two weeks for the kids, which is so fun to see their happiness and excitement, and watching them eat the cake :)
-After about a week and a half of our showers and sinks not working, they were all fixed and we can shower again in our own house!! :)
-We played ultimate frisbee with a volunteer group.
-I was able to skype my family a couple times, which has been great! I'm so thankful for the ability to see my family.
-A volunteer group threw the adults a pizza party, which was delicious! Some of us played dutch blitz afterwards, and Kirk and I kicked butt second round! :)
-Jenna and I had a mini getaway yesterday and laid on the hammocks at the beach for an hour, which was SO relaxing after a busy week!!
-We had ice cream yesterday! I had a corn flavored ice cream bar, which was actually really yummy! It tastes like the corn based cereals.
On the down side, I did have my first decent injury. :/ While playing ultimate frisbee on Wednesday, I ran into a hole and sprained my ankle. The first couple days it was pretty swollen and painful, but it's going down now! I was able to have my first crutches experience, and we have a child's size boot here that I've been using to get around in :p I appreciate everyone's prayers for a quick recovery! I really am not a fan of having the attention on me because I was the lucky one to find the hole, but everyone here has been so caring and helpful! It's uncomfortable for me, but I've gotten a taste of what it feels like to be served through this experience, rather than being the one serving.
The past couple weeks I've really been thinking about what I do when I go home. Do I share stories with everyone I see? Do I stop spending my money on the unnecessary things in life? Do I start sending money to the wonderful organization here that has special place in my heart? Do I start planning my next trip back? I know someone can't give me the answer, but I wish someone could :p. All I know is I'm not ready to leave. This place is a home to me, and these people have become very important to me. I love seeing these kids light up when they see you with arms wide open, hearing their giggles, hearing them say your name with excitement, and watching them grow and heal.
I think coming into this trip, I thought this would be a way for me to learn how to trust God completely, because I had to. I didn't know anyone, know the language, know the culture, know what I was going to do, and was completely out of my comfort level. However, sometimes I feel like I'm still trying to hold into that small piece that I control, even here. Learning how to give your whole life to Christ isn't easy. Thinking about what God has next for me in His plan is something I definitely have been praying about consistently and trusting He will show me what He wants next. Does He want me to come back here? Does He want me in an inner city setting? Does He want me to do something more missional and community based? I don't know, but what I do know is I can trust God has a plan far greater than anything I can try to create.
God is so present and so active here. I see it in the people here. They are some of the most selfless people I've met. They care so much about the children and people here, being involved in the community, building the community up. And have fun with it. They have true joy while working here, even over the smallest things. I look up to a lot of the long term staff that's here. I see God in the joy of the children, the nannies, the children on the streets waving as you drive by, and the beauty of Haiti itself. This place is pretty great :)
Prayer requests I have:
-Quick healing for my sprained ankle.
-Safety of the volunteers traveling back home today and coming here.
-Easing my heart and mind due to the fact that I have two weeks left. I am very sad to leave and wish I could stay longer.
-Good health for the volunteers and long-term staff.
-Those here caught in the voodoo religion would find Christ and turn away from their old ways.
-We would be able to find a nurse that would be willing to stay for a couple weeks here.
-Safety and comfort for the Haitians here that do not have enough food for their families or a place to call home.
Wednesday, June 11, 2014
Week #3
Man, saying I've been here for three weeks already seems unreal! It does seem like I've been here for a long time, but as I'm reaching my halfway point, it makes me sad to think I'm almost halfway done with my time here in Haiti,at least for now ;) This beautiful, wonderful place has definitely begun to capture my heart.
Let's see here, some highlights and things that have happened this week:
-I had my first beach experience here, and I cannot begin to capture the beauty of this place with words. We had to drive up what seemed like a mountain, and the beach was on the other side. The water was clear,deep blue, and the sun beat down hard (which resulted in a painful sunburn afterwards, but worth it :) ) I spent my time looking at the coral and fish underwater, avoiding sea urchins, and finding a TON of sea glass with a young lady, Jadyn, who has become a wonderful friend of mine (she also happens to be one of the girls I homeschool during the week, so that's pretty nice!). When I went to pay for my meal, they brought back my $20 saying that it was "bad" because of a small rip :p It was definitely unexpected, but they hold a very high standard for the American money here while theirs is often crumpled or old, which is pretty unique. However, they later look my $20 from Jaydn and her little sister for some chocolate ice cream haha, which could have been one of the best highlights this week. SO GOOD.
-The following day we went on a hike to this gorgeous waterfall. The walk to the waterfall was really cool, as we passed numerous Haitians washing their clothes in the stream we walked next to(or in) for a majority of it, various goats and pigs, or collecting big rocks to sell. We even had two little girls follow us the whole way, wait for us when we went to the waterfall, and walked back! We had to "boulder" these pretty big rocks to get to the waterfall, and also did a bit of rock climbing on top of it. I swam in a waterfall.In Haiti. Pretty cool :) I am constantly reminded of the beauty that is here, you just have to keep your eyes open and look around you.
-The field director and his family have returned from their time in the States! They're a very fun, exciting, loving family, and I'm excited to continue to get to know them!
-We celebrated a little boy's 1st birthday, complete with a tractor chocolate cake! All the older babies enjoyed eating, or playing, with the cake haha.
-On Friday we had pizza for lunch, and then had chips and salsa for dinner from the DR. I am beginning to miss some American food, so this was a good day. :)
-On Saturday we had a grill-out farewell party to a couple who is moving to the states. We had hamburgers, hotdogs, corn, fruit, and desserts. Needless to say, I may have gone a bit overboard with how much food I ate ;) With the country music playing, it made me feel like I was at like a summer BBQ in the states, which was kinda funny :p
-I was able to skype my family this week as well! My nephews are pretty dang cute, and we've already made plans to watch Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs when I return :p Home's been hit with some pretty decent storms this week, so I was pretty thankful everyone is safe and there isn't too much damage!
-I've finally found out my placement in Chicago for student teaching in the fall! I'll be in 1st grade, as well as a K-2 resource room.
I still am doing preschool every morning and homeschooling in the afternoons. I've been doing letter of the week every week, last week focusing on the letter "L." Although the kids don't know all their letters, they're all mostly pretty good at knowing the letter their name starts with, and it just so happens one of the students' names start with an L! Preschool is definitely an adventure, but I do really love it, and the kids. They are definitely a very challenging crowd, which has taught me to have a lot of patience, as well as learning more about behavior management. I do get pretty drained, but I know they enjoy it and it makes it worth any chaos that may happen :p. Homeschooling is really fun and more low-key. The kids seem to really enjoy it, and they seem to be learning, but I also am learning a lot from them! The older kids have taught me a lot about Haiti, and I've loved getting an 11 and 13 year olds' perspectives!
This week, the drums and chanting has begun for the voodoo ceremonies in town. There is a witch doctor in the village we're next to, who also happens to be the lawyer/judge person, so he has a lot of power in the town. Honestly, I had a really hard time sleeping the first night they went on. They went till at least 4:30 in the morning! Talking about it and actually hearing it is completely different, and hard to put into words. It's gone on 3 times this week. Something that I've really thought about because of this is spiritual warfare. Something that I think scares me more than the sounds themselves is the fact that here, you are physically able to see and hear the spiritual battle occurring. But in the States, it's not as easy to physically see. Where is Satan working that we're not able to see? Something I've thought about a lot. Fear itself is something I've been thinking about and I think God is working me through in my time here. I was scared to come here, feeling inadequate and all the unknowns. I was scared to come alone. I was scared of getting sick. I was scared of the voodoo that happens. I was scared of being hurt. But, God tells us numerous times not to fear; He is with us. Psalm 46:1-2 says, "God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear though the earth gives way." I have looked upon this verse a lot this week, while I have been feeling tired or scared. God is right here with me, and I have no reason to fear anything on this earth.
I continue thinking about what God is showing me during my time here in Haiti; what actions will come out of this. A new volunteer asked me yesterday after talking about why I chose COTP, "What is your long-term goal?" Phew, did that throw me through a loop! I answered with, I don't know. This question has constantly been on my mind now, and I really don't know. Am I supposed to come back after this experience? Am I supposed to share the many stories I've witnessed while I've been here, spreading awareness and sparking new interests in Haiti? Am I supposed to be teaching in a low-income situation like this, or even in another country? Am I supposed to encourage everyone I know to adopt? I really don't know the answer to this question, and it puzzles me a lot and continue diving into prayer for the answer to become known. As I've been reading Matthew, chapter 26 verses 31-46 stood out to me. How many times have I seen the poor, sick, thirsty stranger and turned the other way while I was in the states? Here, it's easy to see those in need and feel compelled to help. Back home, you're often stuck in a comfortable setting, surrounded by distractions and your own wants being filled, and I think we often forget this crucial calling. Being intentional with the poor is so heavily emphasized in the Word, but I've seen it so often ignored, especially in my own life. Before coming to Haiti, something that had really begun to hit me is seeing churches back home completely missing the aspect of reaching out to those in need, those in the community that didn't know the love of Christ. Being comfortable is great, but we aren't called to comfortable. We're called to follow Christ, spreading His love, glorifying His name, following His commands.
I want to thank everyone for all your prayers and support, I know this wouldn't be possible without the power of prayer! Prayer requests for this upcoming week:
- Strength and endurance in preschool, and that I am able to show the children love and grace.
-Prayer that those caught in the spiritual warfare will turn away from voodoo and find the love of Jesus.
-I continue learning creole and can begin more communication with the Haitians.
-Protection for the volunteers and long-term staff from a new disease going around, Chikungunya.
-Guidance towards what God is trying to teach me through this experience and what actions should come out of it..
Let's see here, some highlights and things that have happened this week:
-I had my first beach experience here, and I cannot begin to capture the beauty of this place with words. We had to drive up what seemed like a mountain, and the beach was on the other side. The water was clear,deep blue, and the sun beat down hard (which resulted in a painful sunburn afterwards, but worth it :) ) I spent my time looking at the coral and fish underwater, avoiding sea urchins, and finding a TON of sea glass with a young lady, Jadyn, who has become a wonderful friend of mine (she also happens to be one of the girls I homeschool during the week, so that's pretty nice!). When I went to pay for my meal, they brought back my $20 saying that it was "bad" because of a small rip :p It was definitely unexpected, but they hold a very high standard for the American money here while theirs is often crumpled or old, which is pretty unique. However, they later look my $20 from Jaydn and her little sister for some chocolate ice cream haha, which could have been one of the best highlights this week. SO GOOD.
-The following day we went on a hike to this gorgeous waterfall. The walk to the waterfall was really cool, as we passed numerous Haitians washing their clothes in the stream we walked next to(or in) for a majority of it, various goats and pigs, or collecting big rocks to sell. We even had two little girls follow us the whole way, wait for us when we went to the waterfall, and walked back! We had to "boulder" these pretty big rocks to get to the waterfall, and also did a bit of rock climbing on top of it. I swam in a waterfall.In Haiti. Pretty cool :) I am constantly reminded of the beauty that is here, you just have to keep your eyes open and look around you.
-The field director and his family have returned from their time in the States! They're a very fun, exciting, loving family, and I'm excited to continue to get to know them!
-We celebrated a little boy's 1st birthday, complete with a tractor chocolate cake! All the older babies enjoyed eating, or playing, with the cake haha.
-On Friday we had pizza for lunch, and then had chips and salsa for dinner from the DR. I am beginning to miss some American food, so this was a good day. :)
-On Saturday we had a grill-out farewell party to a couple who is moving to the states. We had hamburgers, hotdogs, corn, fruit, and desserts. Needless to say, I may have gone a bit overboard with how much food I ate ;) With the country music playing, it made me feel like I was at like a summer BBQ in the states, which was kinda funny :p
-I was able to skype my family this week as well! My nephews are pretty dang cute, and we've already made plans to watch Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs when I return :p Home's been hit with some pretty decent storms this week, so I was pretty thankful everyone is safe and there isn't too much damage!
-I've finally found out my placement in Chicago for student teaching in the fall! I'll be in 1st grade, as well as a K-2 resource room.
I still am doing preschool every morning and homeschooling in the afternoons. I've been doing letter of the week every week, last week focusing on the letter "L." Although the kids don't know all their letters, they're all mostly pretty good at knowing the letter their name starts with, and it just so happens one of the students' names start with an L! Preschool is definitely an adventure, but I do really love it, and the kids. They are definitely a very challenging crowd, which has taught me to have a lot of patience, as well as learning more about behavior management. I do get pretty drained, but I know they enjoy it and it makes it worth any chaos that may happen :p. Homeschooling is really fun and more low-key. The kids seem to really enjoy it, and they seem to be learning, but I also am learning a lot from them! The older kids have taught me a lot about Haiti, and I've loved getting an 11 and 13 year olds' perspectives!
This week, the drums and chanting has begun for the voodoo ceremonies in town. There is a witch doctor in the village we're next to, who also happens to be the lawyer/judge person, so he has a lot of power in the town. Honestly, I had a really hard time sleeping the first night they went on. They went till at least 4:30 in the morning! Talking about it and actually hearing it is completely different, and hard to put into words. It's gone on 3 times this week. Something that I've really thought about because of this is spiritual warfare. Something that I think scares me more than the sounds themselves is the fact that here, you are physically able to see and hear the spiritual battle occurring. But in the States, it's not as easy to physically see. Where is Satan working that we're not able to see? Something I've thought about a lot. Fear itself is something I've been thinking about and I think God is working me through in my time here. I was scared to come here, feeling inadequate and all the unknowns. I was scared to come alone. I was scared of getting sick. I was scared of the voodoo that happens. I was scared of being hurt. But, God tells us numerous times not to fear; He is with us. Psalm 46:1-2 says, "God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear though the earth gives way." I have looked upon this verse a lot this week, while I have been feeling tired or scared. God is right here with me, and I have no reason to fear anything on this earth.
I continue thinking about what God is showing me during my time here in Haiti; what actions will come out of this. A new volunteer asked me yesterday after talking about why I chose COTP, "What is your long-term goal?" Phew, did that throw me through a loop! I answered with, I don't know. This question has constantly been on my mind now, and I really don't know. Am I supposed to come back after this experience? Am I supposed to share the many stories I've witnessed while I've been here, spreading awareness and sparking new interests in Haiti? Am I supposed to be teaching in a low-income situation like this, or even in another country? Am I supposed to encourage everyone I know to adopt? I really don't know the answer to this question, and it puzzles me a lot and continue diving into prayer for the answer to become known. As I've been reading Matthew, chapter 26 verses 31-46 stood out to me. How many times have I seen the poor, sick, thirsty stranger and turned the other way while I was in the states? Here, it's easy to see those in need and feel compelled to help. Back home, you're often stuck in a comfortable setting, surrounded by distractions and your own wants being filled, and I think we often forget this crucial calling. Being intentional with the poor is so heavily emphasized in the Word, but I've seen it so often ignored, especially in my own life. Before coming to Haiti, something that had really begun to hit me is seeing churches back home completely missing the aspect of reaching out to those in need, those in the community that didn't know the love of Christ. Being comfortable is great, but we aren't called to comfortable. We're called to follow Christ, spreading His love, glorifying His name, following His commands.
I want to thank everyone for all your prayers and support, I know this wouldn't be possible without the power of prayer! Prayer requests for this upcoming week:
- Strength and endurance in preschool, and that I am able to show the children love and grace.
-Prayer that those caught in the spiritual warfare will turn away from voodoo and find the love of Jesus.
-I continue learning creole and can begin more communication with the Haitians.
-Protection for the volunteers and long-term staff from a new disease going around, Chikungunya.
-Guidance towards what God is trying to teach me through this experience and what actions should come out of it..
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