Saturday, July 12, 2014

Returning Home

Well folks, it's been a week since I got on my first plane to head back to the states.  I never imagined coming back "home" would be so hard.  The time was filled with many tears and a heavy heart.  I'm sure the workers at the airport thought I was crazy!  As my plane left the ground, I felt God telling me that this isn't goodbye, until next time.  I don't know what that means, but, Bondye konnen (God knows).  Since I didn't post about my last week in Haiti, I'll start with my highlights from my last week in Haiti!

-I had my first moto ride!  A friend of a friend, Lele, was my driver.  It is SO much more fun than a van or the back of a truck, our usual means of transportation.  We went to the Monjole, a hotel pool, and it was great to just relax and catch some final rays :)  On the way back, I even tried to have conversations with Lele, some in Creole with some English, which was fun and difficult, and Jenna found pretty funny :p
-We had vets come to COTP to give shots, do some neutering, etc.  I was able to learn a lot about the kittens and we were able to learn the sexes of our kittens! :)
-We celebrated Canada Day with a surprise party for one of the long-term volunteers, Carla, complete with Canadian charades.
-I made purple pudding for preschool successfully, and the kids loved using it to paint!  I was surprised that not many of them actually ate it.
-We started using a behavior management system in preschool that I have been really excited about.  The kids seemed to be understanding and it was going well!
-Jenna and I (well, mostly Jenna :p) made a very delicious, healthy dinner with a TON of veggies and quinoa.  Who says you can't eat healthy in Haiti? :p
-Celebrating the 4th of July in Haiti was awesome!  We started the morning playing water games with everyone on campus.  Then in the afternoon we had a mini parade, where each house made their own float.  We got all decked out in red, white, and blue!  We dressed up a ton of the kids, which was adorable, and had a ton of painted signs.  We won for the best use of animals, having two kids dressed up in a cow and kitten costume. :)   We ended the night with a grill-out with a ton of delicious food!  Despite my fear of heights, I rode the harness that was hung from one of the trees, which was a blast! I figured if I was going to injured, I was going back to the states the next day anyway ;)

Being back in the states is an indescribable feeling, or maybe I just don't know how to describe it.  I think I've felt a lot like I'm in a daze, unsure what to think or feel.  There's just so much here. I used to be comfortable here.  I think it's easy to get comfortable here in the states because there's everything we could possibly "need."  But now, I don't think I want to get comfortable.  God doesn't call us to be comfortable.  I want to remember where I lived for seven weeks, how I lived, who I met, what I did, what I saw.  I may have been out of my comfort zone while I was in Haiti, but I don't think I've ever felt myself trusting and relying on God more than while I was there. I was able to take away a lot of my distractions and focus on seeing God's work in the world and my relationship with Him, something I haven't been doing so well lately.

Something that I thought about a lot during my time in Haiti is what is means to surrender.  To surrender your life completely to God, something that I've found to be a struggle.  A couple weeks ago one of my friends, Holly, let me borrow a book called A Place Called Surrender.  It was about a man's journey is his fight with cancer.  Through what seemed like a tragedy, he felt God teach him and his wife about what it means to surrender and trust Him completely.  Through this book I was able to learn that surrendering your life to Christ involves absolute trust and being willing to walk in complete obedience, wherever it may take you.  It won't be easy, and the path may be confusing and difficult, but God will open up your eyes and heart to His plan on His time.  One quote I liked from the book was, "Every challenge and hurt is carefully crafted by Christ to help us reach our full potential and to draw us closer to Him."  Sometimes I feel that I've had a lot of challenges and difficulties thrown at me in my life and I'm not sure why.  When I'm faced with challenges, I usually try to fix the problem myself or try to not let it phase me by handling it on my own.  But I don't have to.  By surrendering my life to God, I don't have to go through hardships alone or wonder why they are happening.  I need to draw close to Jesus, resting in His love and grace, seeking Scripture, and praying.  I want to live and rest in this place called surrender.

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