2 weeks.

Well, it's becoming real.

And I'm scared.

For those of you that know me, I tend to avoid thinking about "big" things, and I think going to Haiti would fit this description.  When people ask me how I feel about Haiti, I always say that I'm excited.  I am excited, very excited, but I'm also scared, as much as I don't want to admit.  The journey so far has been a lot of ups and downs, battling being comfortable with the unknowns that I will be facing, waiting for conformation, and knowing what I will be doing.  I'm learning more and more what it means to rely on Christ completely.  Today I had my first minor freak-out, tear-filled breakdown, so I thought it would be a great time to start this blog dealio.  I have no clue how to blog, so it'll probably be me rambling and my thoughts that don't make sense.  Words are hard.

Up till this point, I've been like, yeah, I'm going to Haiti, woo, but I haven't really thought about the fact that I will seriously be in Haiti for seven weeks.  I haven't been out of the country before.  I haven't been away from home for seven weeks.  I haven't flown internationally before, and even more, flying alone.  I won't know anyone at the orphanage.  I haven't taught preschool before.  I don't speak creole.  Pretty much, I don't know what the heck I'm doing right now.  I'm beginning to be filled with nervousness, worry, self-doubt, and inadequacy.

I know Christ is there.  He is here.  I know He is constantly preparing me for the journey I'll be on.  God will provide me with everything I need.  I am trying to find rest in His promises--He will be walking right by my side.  God's plan is far greater than mine, which He definitely demonstrated to me this past year when He completely changed literally all of mine.  He has placed so many important people in my life to help me.  I cannot begin to thank everyone who was with me when I was deciding to go on an SOS, where to go, waiting for confirmation, and prepping for the journey.

A Bible verse someone sent to me recently has been comforting words I'm constantly turning to. "Now may the Lord of peace himself give you peace at all times and in every way.  The Lord be with you."  2 Thessalonians 3:16.  I don't need to have worries.  I need to turn to Him for peace of mind and heart.  I don't have to be scared about all the unknowns I'm going to soon be facing.  I don't need to be afraid of the spiritual warfare that is constantly happening in Haiti.  I have such a powerful God who will protect me.  I need to find peace knowing I have Jesus in my heart.

All worries put aside, I'm so excited for my time working with Children of the Promise.  If you want to know more about them, check it out here!  I am so excited to be teaching preschoolers five days a week, watching them grow and learn.  I can't wait to spend time loving on the children that are there, sharing the love of Christ.  I am excited to build relationships with those working at COTP and seeing how they see Christ in their work.  I am excited to build my relationship with Christ and getting into His Word.

Well, two weeks. Here we go.